Taking a negative tone with regards to the team, the coach, the players, or your own child rarely accomplishes the things that you seek.  Gathering in small groups and speaking in hushed tones usually does little more than cause increased frustration while igniting a more negative environment for everyone.  If there is something happening that you don’t understand or don’t agree with just ask for some clarification.  At worst  you may disagree but you will have an understanding of the logic that went into doing things a certain way.  At best you will agree with a situation after receiving new knowledge.  Your child is looking for a positive experience and looks to you to help make that happen.  The best way to do this is to remain positive yourself.

2.  You shall refrain from coaching from the sideline.

Many of us are emotional when watching a sporting event.  Multiply that emotion by 10 when the sporting event involves our children.  These emotions fill us with the desire to help the team be successful, thereby making our child successful.  When these emotions overflow into actually telling the players on the field what to do, where to move, and where to play, the results are rarely positive.  First, the information coming from the parent sideline rarely coincides with the information the coach is giving the players.  While parents may be yelling go go go, or shoot, the coach is more than likely instructing the players to play out of pressure and encouraging them to get their heads up so they can make the correct decision with the ball.  Second, we always want our players to be relaxed when playing the game.  Try being relaxed with the ball at your feet when you have several different parents yelling several different sets of instructions while the coach is trying to speak over the top of all of them.  It doesn’t sound like a very relaxing environment to me.  Third, when we put a child in a situation to choose between listening to a parent on the sideline or listening to their coach it’s really a no-win situation.  How is the child supposed to choose which adult to listen to?  Allow our players to stay relaxed, enjoy the game, and hear one voice providing instructions.

3.  You shall read the team email BEFORE replying with a question for the coach or manager.

Believe it or not, many times the answer to your question lies in the very email you are responding to.  I know some emails can be long and the information in them can be deemed irrelevant by you, but taking the few minutes it takes to read the email sure beats getting labeled a knucklehead parent by the coach.

4.  You shall not act as an agent for your child, shopping him or her out to the next best team year after year.

All parents want what is best for their child.  They want the child to be on the best team, or play the right position, or play for a certain coach.  This desire leads many families to search their respective communities for their soccer utopia.  Here, their son or daughter gets to play forward for every minute of every game and the team wins all the tournaments.  After bouncing from one club to the next for a few years the parents usually realize that this soccer dream is just that, a dream.  By this time the child has usually stopped playing and the parents have burned so many bridges that no one wants to deal with them.  Instead of always jumping in and “helping” your child find the next best thing, how about we actually allow our children to deal with a little adversity in their lives?  Don’t feel like you play on the best team?  Instead of searching for something better how about making yourself a better player thereby making those around you better?  Don’t feel like you’re playing the right position?  Instead of finding a coach or club that will agree (at least long enough to get you on their team) with you, how about embracing the opportunity to learn something new?  Don’t like your coach?  What an opportunity for our kids and parents to learn how to work with someone they may not entirely agree with.  Hopping from one club to the next is like putting air into a tire that has a hole in it.  Sure it may make you happy because you can get from point A to point B, but it doesn’t solve the problem.  The problem is the ability to manage expectations and the desire to be a part of something verses the desire to be a part of something else.

5.  You shall forget the “reply to all” option even exists.

This email feature is rarely used correctly.  Instead of using it in instances where information needs to be relayed to everyone on a particular email, it is too often used to stir the pot and incite anger in hopes that there is another parent out there that shares a similar disdain for whatever it is the email is about.  If you have a question or criticism regarding the team, go to the coach.  Don’t waste your time attempting to rally support in an effort to show that your concerns are important or justified.  If you are a member of the organization, your concerns are already important.

6.  You shall not verbally abuse referees.

Screaming at referees is a waste of your time and energy.   Newsflash: They’re human beings who make mistakes!  Just like your child misses a shot or passes the ball out of bounds, referees will also make mistakes on that field.  Yelling at them can only do one or a combination of the following:

-Makes you look and sound like a crazy person.

-Embarrasses your child.

-Makes the club look bad.

-Makes you look ignorant of the rules.

Clubs across the nation struggle with having enough refs to work games on the weekend and we are no exception.  Each weekend there are games that go uncovered because of a shortage of refs.  This is due, in part, to young referees not wanting to spend their weekends being yelled at by adults.  I know this was true for me as a 14 year old.  The next time you want to yell at a ref, especially if it is a teenager, think about this:  That is someone’s child out there.  What if it was your kid getting berated by a grown adult over a game being played between children?  How would you react?    

7.  You shall refer all questions, comments, or critiques to the correct authority.

Just like any business, coaches in the soccer business don’t like you going over their heads regarding team issues.  As DOC, I field many emails and phone calls from parents who have questions and concerns regarding their team or child.  While I do want to help them as much as I can, I find that I am constantly asking the same question:  Have you spoken with your coach?  I ask that for two reasons:  One, I think keeping the issues within the team and seeing if they can be solved there before making them club issues is the right thing to do.  Two, I usually can’t help the parents much because I don’t have the answers to the reasons behind every decision each one of our coaches make in practices and games.  Many parents, however, say they are reluctant to take their concerns to the coach because they fear punishment for their child if they rock the boat.  I suppose somewhere out there is a coach that would do something like this, but in my time coaching I’ve never heard of a coach who has taken out their anger for the parent on a child.  Dealing with upset parents and concerns over playing time or position is simply a part of the job, and while it’s not the best part of the job it’s one that every coach is equipped to deal with each season.  So the next time you have a question or concern, don’t whisper about it on the sideline, don’t ask the team manager, and don’t go to the DOC.  Go to the one person that can answer your questions and perhaps alleviate your concerns.

8.  You shall remember that your desires and ambitions do not always coincide with your child’s.

Don’t put what you want for your child ahead of what they want.  You’ll end up wasting time working against each other seeking goals that only one of you actually wants.  You may feel like your child is a gifted athlete who could be a great soccer player, but if your child doesn’t share these goals then all the pushing and prodding isn’t going to get him or her to reach that potential.  Work together to set some goals you both want and focus your energy on supporting what you desire collectively rather than your individual desires.

9.  You shall become a part of the solution, rather than the problem.

It’s easy to sit on the sides and critique.  The coach doesn’t know what he or she is doing.  Why do we have to stay in this hotel?  Why is everything so expensive?  The club has no direction.  The refereeing is horrible.  Those are easy things to say.  The hard part is saying that I recognize a problem or deficiency and I’d like to try and help fix it.  With 1500 members in the club, we rely heavily on volunteers to make the club go.  From volunteer coaches with our recreational teams to team managers to board members, there are tons of opportunities for individuals to get involved and make a difference.

10.  You shall enjoy your children and the opportunity that comes with watching them play a sport they love.

Live in the moment and enjoy the ride.  If you focus so much on where you want to be in one year or three years or five years you’ll miss out on all the cool things along the way and you may be left wondering where the time went.

This is a scenario that I’m sure most of you have dealt with in some form or fashion over the years but for me it’s relatively new.  I  have two young daughters playing in the recreational program, and the transition from soccer coach to soccer parent has been a different experience for me, but with this new experience has come newfound perspective into the emotions some soccer parents go through on a given weekend.  It can be a roller coaster ride and if you don’t hold on tight you might fly off………..the handle that is.

When I first watched my oldest daughter play soccer, it was hard for me to feel the way I know I should have felt.  My initial feelings were ones of nervousness, anxiety, and fear.  I felt overcome with the desire for her to enjoy the game and be successful, but I was also overcome with the fear that she may be less than average, and, even worse, may dislike playing the game.  Those fears were multiplied by the fact I’m the director of coaching for the club, and with that title came the expectations, real or imagined, that my daughter should be the best player on the field at all times.  She should run the fastest, be the most aggressive, and, of course, score all the goals.  Well, it didn’t take longer than about 10 minutes into her first practice to determine that wasn’t going to be the case.   My wife would be happy to know that our oldest is a bonafide girly girl.  She doesn’t care much for contact, isn’t really into scoring goals, and is mainly looking to stay away from the action.  Upon seeing this I was filled with the desire to try to help her from the sideline.   I pulled out all of the best one liners:  “Kick it!”  “Get to the ball!”  “Go Go Go!”, but nothing seemed to work.  After a minute or two of feeling defeated I snapped back into reality, took a deep breath, and actually watched my daughter play.  She was running around, she was smiling,  she was laughing, and she was enjoying the game.  I felt like an idiot.  What else could I possibly want for her?

Soccer is a game and like all games its main purpose is to be enjoyable for those that play it.   Did you hear that folks?   It’s supposed to be fun! 

When we make our child’s performance a measuring stick for how we feel, we take away from that fun. 

When we yell at them during the game, we take away from that fun. 

When we make the game like a job, we take away from that fun. 

When we place pressure on our children for individual or team results (duh, winning), we take away from that fun. 

When we scream at referees, we take away from that fun. 

The time has come to put the fun back into the game.

As parents our biggest job is to guide our children through the early years of life in hopes that we lead them on a good path, help them form strong, well-balanced personalities, and equip them with the means necessary to make smart decisions.  Bottom line: we know what’s best for our children and we parent them with this in mind.  They may not want to eat vegetables but we make them because we know what’s best for them.  They may not want to go to school each day but we send them anyway because we know what’s best for them.  They may want a cell phone with a facebook page at 8 years old but we don’t let them have it because we know what’s best for them.  However, when it comes to soccer and sports in general I would say the kids know what’s best, or in other words, they know what is most important.  When you ask players for the number one reason why they play soccer 95% of them, regardless of age, will say because it’s fun.  They don’t talk about being the best or winning trophies or getting a college scholarship.  It all comes back to enjoying the game.  We, as parents, must follow suit by placing this desire as our top priority for our children.  Put the wins on the back burner.  Kick the goals to the curb.  Forget about the college scholarship.  Instead, use the smile on their face and the enjoyment in their eyes as a gauge for what is important.  You’ll sleep better at night and your child will be happier.

Recreational Soccer

We are entering into what will be our most successful recreational season since I have been here.  Numbers are at an all-time high and so are expectations.  A big thanks has to go out to all of our volunteer coaches for the time and effort they are committing to making the soccer experience our players receive one that instills a passion and enjoyment for the game that lasts from season to season.   Without you, there is no LRFC.  I challenge you to make this season the best it can be for our kids.  Enjoy your time with them, have fun with them, and gauge your success by the smiles on their faces.

For any coach looking for a little guidance we have several options available.  If you are just looking for some new age-appropriate activities to try out on your teams we offer a youth coaching curriculum packet.  Inside are over 60 activities geared for players ranging from U4-U10.  Just email me if you are interested and I can get one to you.  If you are looking for a little more than just some new games and want some hands-on experience I will also be running 3 model training sessions each season.  These sessions are a great opportunity to learn some tricks of the trade when dealing with youth soccer players as well as give some insight into how a practice should be structured age group to age group.  I will run the sessions with the players.  The coaches just need to show up and watch.  Below is the schedule for the Fall.  I encourage all to make it out.

September 6th @ 6:00 @ Riverdale:  U5/U6

September 22nd @ 6:00 @ Riverdale U7/U8

September 27th @ 6:00 @ Riverdale U9/U10

For anyone needing additional help I am always available to answer questions or give advice.  Contact me at lrfcnick@gmail.com  I’m the Director of Coaching for the club and that means for all of our coaches, so if you need something  just ask.

Youth Academy

Our U7-U10 youth academy is off and running and numbers are soaring.  We have our highest number of academy players ever and have added an academy program to our LRFC North program in Conway.  We began training on August 8th and the groups competed in an in-house jamboree this past weekend at Riverdale and Murray Park.  It’s exciting to see how far we have come over the past year, both for the program and for the players.  With the parents and players on board the sky is the limit!

The ability of our academy program to have success is directly tied to the ability of the staff working with the kids day in and day out.   Lucky for us we have assembled a stellar staff.  Check them out below!

Sean Dunbar:  Boys Academy Director.  USSF B License.  National Youth License

Brittany Axford:  Girls Academy Director.  USSF B License.  National Youth License

Steve Moore:  Girls Academy GK Coach.  Assistant Women’s Coach, University of Central Arkansas

Ivan Zarate:  Boys Academy GK Coach.  Assistant Men’s Coach, University of Central Arkansas

Freddy Delgado:  USSF A License.  Head Women’s Coach, University of Arkansas at Little Rock

Chris McNaughton:  USSF B License.  Assistant Women’s Coach, University of Arkansas at Little Rock

Nick Harbert:  USSF C License.  National Youth License

Rick Friday:  USSF C License

Wes Gross:  USSF C License.  National Youth License.

Jayme Butts:  Former player, University of Arkansas at Little Rock

Sam Freyaldenhoven:  LRFC Alumnus.  Former player, Hendrix College.

Aaron West:  LRFC Alumnus. 

Classic Program

Our classic program offers the highest levels of player development and competition at LRFC.  The classic program is committed to doing what is best for both the individual AND the team.  With this goal, we have adopted a club motto that encompasses the spirit we want our players to show up with each day:  ALWAYS SOMETHING TO PLAY FOR!  This is the idea that each day, whether in training or a game, there is a goal that can be reached or something to strive towards.  This can be maintaining a position on a team, it can be moving up to the top team in an age group, or it could be moving up to play with an older age group.  The point is we want our players to be able to challenge themselves on a daily basis and see a future for themselves in the game of soccer.

Juggling Academy

It should go without saying that the ability for a player to control and be comfortable with the ball is paramount in terms of being a good soccer player.  We have started a program designed around this idea and the best thing about it is the players can do it on their own.  The idea is simple: players practice juggling at their team practices or on their own.  When they feel ready they can tell their coach that they want to test for a certain juggling level.  The coach will take them through the testing procedures and the players can receive recognition and prizes for their efforts.  It’s a fun and exciting way to get the players working with the ball on their own.  Click here  for more information about the program. 

Parent Education Program (PEP) Reports

This blog will feature a series for the fall season known as PEP Reports.  These reports will be designed to educate our soccer moms and dads on the ins and outs of the game, to address parent behavior and its effect on coaches and players, and to give some tips on how you can help your child navigate the roller coaster ride which is youth soccer.  Look for the first report in the coming weeks!

I wish everyone an enjoyable and successful season.  Looking forward to seeing you on the fields soon!

Nick Sherwood

The simple answer to how we can over achieve as a smaller club is to just be better.  Easy enough, right?  Be better coaches, be more organized as a club, and develop better players.  But how do we do that?  First, we have to determine what is the most important component of player development.  Certainly a knowledgable and charismatic coach is helpful.  Playing in meaningful, competitive games won’t hurt either, but are these the most important ingredients in player development?  Consider this:  We have a 12-year-old soccer player and there are two options for this player.  We can either have the best youth soccer coach in the world come in and coach this player and his/her current team for 6 months or we can send this player to train and play with the top 12 year olds from around the world for 6 months, but the coach for that group will be very average.  What’s the best decision for this player in terms of player development?  I guess the real question is what has a larger impact on a player’s development, the coach or the level of the players on the team?  While I’m not in the business of telling people how useless I am, the easy answer is a player’s day in and day out training environment is ultimately what will help or really force a player to get better.  Playing with better players has a direct correlation with an increased development in all aspects of the game.  For those of you who disagree think of it this way:  Let’s say I have a coach who is great at teaching players to be great 1v1 attackers.  He shows me how to attack with speed, how to sell the move, he talks about timing and changing pace, but if the player across from me isn’t a great 1v1 defender am I ever really pushed to apply the techniques my coach is talking about?  I could probably just get away with pushing the ball past the defender and running so why would I ever do anything different?  Vice versa, my coach could teach me all the techniques to be a great 1v1 defender.  He could show me how to close space, get in a great stance, force it one direction, be patient and look for moments to tackle, but if the players who are attacking me aren’t great 1v1 attackers what will prevent me just running up and tackling the ball right away?  On the flip side if I was placed with the best players in the world I would be forced to be a great attacker, I would be forced to be a great defender, I would be forced to play with speed, and I would be forced to make good decisions with the ball because nothing else would work.  It wouldn’t matter if my coach was completely clueless, the GAME would be my coach at that point.  Being in this environment would make a player adapt and improve regardless of coaching, thereby making playing environment the most important component of player development.

While we cannot create an environment that is the same as it would be with the top players in a given age group, we can strive to create training environments that are comparable relative to the players we currently have in our club.  What are the steps we should take?  First, we have to make technical development the primary focus from U5-U12.  Place results, formations, and team tactics in the background and leave technique in the forefront.  Without technique there is nothing.  Without the ability to dribble, pass, receive, and shoot the tactical concepts become nothing more than a frustration for both coach and player.  Second, we have to teach our players how to compete.  We do this by making competition a daily part of training.  It should be done in our technical warmup (who can get the most juggles), it should be done in our individual activities (every time you beat someone 1v1 you get a point) and it should be done in our games at the end (losing team has to pick up all the cones).  We have to instill in the players a desire to win in everything they do.  This desire to compete, coupled with a solid technical base for the players, is the foundation for a training environment that will create a snowball effect of players improving which make those around them improve, which increases the overall level of training, which makes players improve, which makes those around them improve,……………you get the picture.

Certainly having a larger player pool is an automatic advantage for any club.  Having three times the number of players means three times the number of exceptional players per age group.  Think of any team in your club and multiply those players by three.  You’d be able to make a pretty good first team from that pool of players, right?  Well, forget it because it’s not your reality.  Your reality is you have what you have and the trick is being able to do more with less by creating a day in and day out environment that makes development the only option.

In an ironic twist the problem is actually with the coaches and can be summed up with the very sentiment they are trying to get across to their players:  Laziness.   Focusing on the physical component of the game is the easy way out for coaches.  Why would they try to focus on the real breakdowns in each game when they have their “you don’t work hard enough”  up their sleeve and readily available.  Perhaps we should try this on for size.  Lose a game, we have poor technique.  Have a poor practice, kinda hard to play well in between the full-speed sprints and the 5-minute coaching points.  Come in last in the league, we don’t understand simple tactics.

Now some of you may be saying to yourself, we’ve got to do a better job educating these coaches.  I disagree.  Ask any coach across the country what is the biggest difference  between a youth player in the US and a youth player in Europe or South America and see how many say “well, we’d be fine if we were just a little more athletic and worked harder.”  No one would be silly enough to say that.  You would hear answers like “we can’t produce true goalscorers”, “our players aren’t creative enough”, “our understanding of the game isn’t good enough” or “we play too direct and can’t keep it”, but they all revolve around the techniques and tactics of the game.  Other countries have them and we struggle with them.  The point is our coaches recognize this problem but are too lazy to put the time or energy into fixing it, and unfortunately there’s not enough pressure from the moms and dads writing the checks because they grew up in the same outwork-the-other-team-drop-and-give-me-twenty-water-makes-you-weak environment our coaches are providing and they think spending the last thirty minutes of training doing sprints is just what the doctor ordered.

Do you want to see our country do consistently well on the world stage?  Try this.  Next time you want to scream for your player to “get in”, take a deep breath and address the donkey first touch that got him into the tackle in the first place.  Next time you want to yell about working harder consider talking to your players about their individual body shape so they can keep the ball and don’t have to chase it all over the field.  Next time your team plays a ball behind the opponent’s back line and you want to yell go go go, instead……………well just don’t yell that, you sound like an idiot.